Shadowhunters TV The Mortal Cup Episodes 1-3, another unhealthy rant

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My impression of most titles for teens is “your kidding me right?” Usually though it doesn’t have the preset of “oh my god” in front of it. I made an incredibly noble attempt to be excited about Shadowhunters, really I did. This show however in in three episodes, which is just over 2 hours, is a complete disaster, no forget disaster, this show is  a travesty.

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Clary Fray is mostly ok, my main issues with her, well I have three of them. One she’s no longer young. Well as young anyway, Clary has just gotten accepted to NY art institute, it’s a nice way to shoehorn in that she’s an artist, but based off the first two chapters of the book I think it’s pretty obvious. She makes sure at every single moment possible to remind us that she’s eighteen now, eighteenth birthday, I can’t believe this happened on my eighteenth birthday, but mom I’m Eighteen, etc etc etc. This is all incredibly unnecessary, aging the characters by making them ‘legal’ ruins future plot points. Second at no point has she been star struck by how ‘dreamy’ Jace is. I think Simon comes of more interested which is just plain wrong. Her hair is also officially orange, not curly and red like in her character description, just straight up no holds barred orange.

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Jace Wayland, oh poor Jace. Will an attractive actor ever approach this role? No probably not. I am not a fan of Jamie Campbell Bower but at least I acknowledge that he carried himself like a rockstar. He’s far too trusting and I can’t get past how he doesn’t talk to Izzy and Alec. He barely talks to his soul brother! What is even up with this? He’s not even a quarter as quippy or snarky as he should be, like all the party snark was dropped into Alec and Simon without a drop in anyone else.

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They have officially confirmed that Alexander Lightwood does not trust anyone. He doesn’t trust his parabatai, his sister, Clary, humans, vampires, adults, or anything else. He is repressed and hiding in a closet all by himself. We know this because and only because Isabelle told us so.

“Alec is often soft spoken and serious in most situations. He tries his best to act wisely, and is shown not be as brave as Jace is; but cautious. Up until later in the story, he had never killed a demon. However this is more because he puts Jace and his sister’s safety before killing demons, frequently putting himself in danger to protect them. He shows himself to be extremely caring of the ones he loves, and is willing to do anything to save them, also he is said to be “easily guilted”. Between the whole group, Alec is the most clever. ”

So who the hell is the guy we’re watching? Alec in TV is kind of like if you took the base of his personality and Jace’s personality and threw them into a blender. I don’t like it. Not at all. I see this Alec as mean and that’s just not something I can get behind. Alec is faded sweaters and holey jeans and shy smiles and this dude doesn’t have it. He also barely even looks at Jace which for someone desperately in love just pisses me off. You couldn’t sell these two as friends let alone “I have a secret affection for you.”

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Isabelle Lightwood is worse and the fact that she called Alec out on being closeted and repressed instead of Clary just pissed me off. Isabelle should care as a sibling, but she comes off as callous. She also comes off as a two dollar whore.  She’s always been a flirt and a bit loose, but seriously? Did we need the seducing Meliorn scene? And Alec telling her to dance like a slut at Pandemonium, well you don’t get much more out of character then that. Next question, are the Lightwood siblings even blood relations in this? Isabelle has an accent that she randomly slips in and out of, which is odd, but what makes it even stranger is that Alec doesn’t have an accent……

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Simon Lewis lost me at “ooh is that chicken cacciatore  I smell?” Simon is a vegetarian. He’s also a nerd, a nerd who hasn’t done his obligatory job as geek jokes. Would a D&D joke be so hard? The best and only one so far was a GI Joe reference by Clary….if I didn’t dream that. Simon was also supposed to be unaware that he was bitten by a vampire. He was not abducted because of some stupid hostage situation, but instead because he got turned into a rat and was mistaken for a pet. Simon also hadn’t met Camille Belcourt until only after he had not only been turned but was found to be a daylighter.

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Luke Garroway caused a lot of rage in me too, a police officer? We aren’t supposed to trust Luke for the majority of the first book and you went and made him into a cop? Luke is a hairy guy that ran a used book store. He no longer looks like the type of guy who would collect spiders. (Bonus points if you get that joke.)

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Dorothea…..oh my god like the demon chick that bit Alec that is half the reason the Malec pairing exists. That Dorothea? Welp She’s a good guy now. But a fake her did poison Clary…..Man screw this series….

“She was later possessed by the Greater Demon Abbadon, who also wanted the Mortal Cup for Valentine, sometime after her visit from Jace and Clary. Abbadon then hid himself in the Portal so as to remain undetected by the Shadowhunters’ Sensors. When Clary came to her apartment to retrieve the Cup from the tarot card, Dorothea opened the door of the Portal, only to be consumed and killed by Abbadon. Abbadon then proceeded to attack Jace, Clary, Isabelle and Alec Lightwood, just before Simon Lewis arrived and saved them by shooting out the skylight with an arrow, allowing light into the room and incapacitating the demon.[1] ”

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Magnus Bane is a lie. I don’t know who this guy is that owns Pandemonium but he isn’t throwing a birthday party for his cat so I don’t care. He also left. He left New York via a portal. He ran away from Valentine. I am pissed. Also I adore how this show is trying to actively avoid “Malec.” Eye Shadow does not a Magnus make. 😦

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This show has a pile of problems and has thrown a whole mass of plot points right out the window. It’s crap Jim, this makes Peter Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy look accurate. There are people all over the x-mansion…institute, it’s ridiculously technological too. This building was only supposed to have four people living in it. Three teenagers and one instructor. They’ve messed up all of the following already: Alec getting poisoned by Abaddon, Simon getting turned into a rat, Magnus’ party for Chairman Meow, holy water in the gas tanks, the weapons stored at churches, and Alec being the only adult in the main group. Each and every one of these is an important plot point that has been completely disregarded or changed in a way to make it feel more edgey. I would love to see how they think they’ll recover from this, but I don’t think they will.

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About Tekizen

I am a thirty two year old fujoshi. I adore Aniplex and Capcom both to a near criminal degree. I love cosplaying. Some of my favorites to date are Miles Edgeworth and Chrollo Lucifer. I am also currently working on Tatsuya Suou. My absolute favorite genre is mystery. I LOVE a good mystery. I have a varying degree of fandoms. I love a lot of different anime, but I can honestly say I love old school american cartoons just the same. My favorite book is The Bacta War in the Star Wars X Wing novel series. I finally beat the Demi-Fiend! He was freaking hard!. I think that's all for now though.
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