A fangirl’s need to rant! Star Wars edition

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“scripts could turn into official “Episodes” in the main Skywalker storyline, or they could form the basis for spinoffs focusing on side characters. Disney CEO Robert Iger said the goal is to release a Star Wars movie “every two to three years,” and some could easily focus on other pieces of the expansive mythos (similar to Marvel’s Avengers universe).”

This is from Lawrence Kasdan and Simon Kinberg who were reported to be writing the two new Star Wars movies…. Spin offs now there’s a word you never want to hear. Shock, fear, and mortification were the first feelings that went through me upon reading these terrifying words. “Focusing on SIDE characters. New side characters? Previously established side characters? Extended universe? Oh please let it be non Kevin J Anderson molested EU please!?!

There’s no real point in discussing new side characters, they don’t exist yet after all. Still I will be a little biased here and say that I sincerely hope that if they go this route that it isn’t some previously unmentioned Jedi Knight that’s been in hiding for the last 20 years. On that note how can a Jedi (the upholders of all that is righteous) hide in a swamp for all those years while people are being tormented by the Empire? Not doesn’t sound very peace and justice to me….. I’d also prefer it if it wasn’t another Correllian, I love Correllians as much as the next guy, but do we really need another hot-shot fuel for blood pilot? I think we have enough of those established already.

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So let’s see previously established and still kicking after Return of the Jedi……that’s a fairly short list. Ooh and a side cast member too, that makes the list even smaller. Well fortunately everyone involved in the newer trilogy with the exception of (shudder) Jar Jar Binks is dead. So that rules out that cast of miscreant failures since we ARE looking at side characters for movies 7 and 8 we hopefully won’t have to deal with the last pile of tripe that Lucas tried to feed us.

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Wicket- The Ewok, I’m sure anyone who hated their childhood remembers the Ewok movies. That’s right I mean Caravans of Courage and Battle for Endor. Hopefully we can also write of Warwick, someone somewhere has to remember how bad these movies were!

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Mon Mothma- A movie about political intrigue at best, not really Disney’s spiel. I’d go watch it of course….if for no other reason than to see a Bothan……

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Lando Calrissian- Here’s the number one way to verify that I don’t go see the new movies….well actually number one would be Jar Jar but I digress…..Lando they could do his younger days and how he got to be in control of Bespin, but I still wouldn’t see it….

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Nien Nunb- Does anyone even remember this guy? He was Lando’s co pilot in the Falcon…. We could get an in-depth look at Kessel through his eyes which would be pretty nifty, but then we’d have to deal with the Yuuzhan Vong so I doubt it would be worth it.

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Chewbacca- Of course everyone’s favorite Wookie has a nifty story to tell, I don’t know about a whole movie starring a character who can only growl though.

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Admiral Ackbar- In a heartbeat I would be in line, you would find me in a tent three monthes before release…. I mean Ackbar is a distinct possibility for side characters, he’s much-loved by fans and he does have a very interesting story to boot. He’s also around for a lot of major story arcs. Yeah that’d be cool…

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As much as I dread typing the following words….then there’s my personal hero and the number one person I don’t want movies about Wedge Antilles. Would it be interesting, probably, but it’s not Wedge if it isn’t Denis Lawson dammit. Out of the available survivors of the three original movies though he is the most viable candidate. Sucks to admit it though.

Then there’s the Extended Universe. It brought us some amazing characters like Mara Jade, Tycho Celchu, Wes Janson (who was vaguely in Empire if you forget to blink), Kyp Durron, and Jaina Solo. There have been an ungodly amount of books, comics, and video games each bringing their own unique touches to the Star Wars universe. They also brought some amazing characters, and some that make Jar Jar look like a walk in the park.

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Mara Jade- The Emperor’s hand, the woman sworn to kill Luke Skywalker and undeniable proof that you do not screw with the chicks in Star Wars. She’s a force trained commando assassin with one hell of a vendetta. That could make a really great movie….but with the trend of Disney’s Marvel movies she might come off a little too Scarlett Johansson esque for me to be comfortable with.

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Tycho Celchu- With Tycho comes the rest of the insanity of Rogue Squadron, but Tych has the best story out of the group. They could theoretically make an almost Inception style film about his time in the Luskanya prison. That’d be borderline epic….but it would also require a LOT of back story that I’m not sure they would want to put the time or effort into. So far though my numero uno vote goes to a Tycho movie.

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Wes Janson- Another interesting possibility and another tie in with the Rogues is Wes Janson, the prankster of the Star Wars cast. He’s playful and fun and has definite lead character potential. However the best part of his story takes place on Yavin during the first Deathstar battle so I guess….Janson’s probably out. Besides I sincerely and honestly doubt that Disney would be willing to go all the way with the Lt. Kettch joke.

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Kyp Durron- This would be a way interesting movie if it were in the hands of anyone but Disney. Kyp is a force sensitive brat that Luke trains somewhere around 8 (?) years after Jedi. Kyp fell to the darkside and used a weapon of mass destruction to destroy entire systems. Disney can’t handle a fall from grace for a lead character, not like this one anyway. So whereas it could be a really nifty movie, it won’t be from Kyp’s P.O.V.

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Jaina Solo- Another interesting route to take would be the Solo children. It would also be the most logical path to take. Jaina would make an amazing lead. She’s strong, proud, a great pilot, all the staples you need for a Star Wars lead. It would also take the heat off of the adult characters that we all know and love.

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Qwi Xux- The feather brained freak show would also be an interesting choice, it’s not a movie I’d ever let myself watch (I do have some principles) but it would be very interesting. It would bring in Kyp’s storyline, Wedge’s romantic side, and plenty of big explosions to keep action satisfied. I still would not see it though.

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Callista- If this movie was made I would be too busy laughing hysterically to even breathe. I sincerely hope someone would put on my tombstone “Kevin J Anderson finally did her in!”

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Kettch- If we have to sit through another Ewok movie can we at least have it be about Kettch? The one and only Ewok X Wing pilot? Yub Yub that is a movie that I couldn’t miss ever!

Having gone through and talked about characters I guess the next natural place to go is into books.

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Truce at Bakura- This book is soooo infuriating. Not only is it bad but they drop Wedge out of the picture in the first 25 pages. No joke. This book takes place like three hours after Jedi or something silly like that. Regardless Luke’s love life should just begin and end with Miss Mara Jade.

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X-Wing-  There are 8 of these books so odds aren’t very good. They span the course of years and squadrons too. Of course getting to watch as the Rogue’s quit the New Republic would make eight movies worth it…not to mention Lt Kettch, and the entire planet of Adumar…..

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Courtship of Princess Leia- Probably the best book that didn’t involve the word X wing in the title Courtship would have been hilarious if made thirty years ago. Now we’d need new actors for the main cast which is plausible but….well finding talent to replace Harrison Ford would be tricky at best. Still I wouldn’t object to this being movie number 7.

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The Thrawn trilogy- The introduction of Mara Jade is the first real adversary we see for Luke after Darth Vader. She’s strong-willed and crazy. It also takes us on a wild ride with smuggler Talon Karrde and the most intelligent villain ever written Grand Admiral Thrawn.  It’s pretty epic and involves some damn good writing. This would make a beautiful movie trilogy.

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Jedi Academy Trilogy- this one had some really interesting concepts, but as is expected of Mr Anderson the story falls flat on its face by the end. It does however have a very intriguing antagonist in Kyp Durron. It also tries to tie down the best pilot in the galaxy with a bird woman. FAIL Anderson FAIL!

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I, Jedi- This is from the perspective of fighter pilot Corran Horn and whereas it was a very interesting read I think it lacked too much in side characters to really be great movie potential.

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The Callista Trilogy- Oh god, this series of ridiculously bad writing tried really hard to cement the worst relationships in history! This is coming from an anime fan, I’ve read a LOT of romance comics with horrid relationships, but these books take the cake. Lando and Mara? Luke and Callista? Thank every divine aspect available that by the end of this trilogy Wedge was off in Adumar safely with Iella and not Qwi or we’d be three for three on crap pairings.

Honestly I don’t remember too many of the main plots after those but, I’ve concluded if they go with the expanded universe we are surely in for a bumpy probably uncomfortable ride.

In summary there are a lot of really cool characters out there in the Universe that could make really neat movies, it really just depends on how hard Disney messes it up….I hope they turn out at least as painless as the new Marvel movies. My number one vote is going to Lieutenant Kettch though, please Disney make it so!

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About Tekizen

I am a thirty two year old fujoshi. I adore Aniplex and Capcom both to a near criminal degree. I love cosplaying. Some of my favorites to date are Miles Edgeworth and Chrollo Lucifer. I am also currently working on Tatsuya Suou. My absolute favorite genre is mystery. I LOVE a good mystery. I have a varying degree of fandoms. I love a lot of different anime, but I can honestly say I love old school american cartoons just the same. My favorite book is The Bacta War in the Star Wars X Wing novel series. I finally beat the Demi-Fiend! He was freaking hard!. I think that's all for now though.
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4 Responses to A fangirl’s need to rant! Star Wars edition

  1. colonelfancy says:

    From what I can gather with your perspective is this; Most of these established side characters that DO fit the mold for easy and instant marketability for a feature film lack the background and motive to follow them after Return (Lando, Chewbacca, for example), while others are probably too little known in the majority of the new generation of Star Wars fans, and the remaining characters are probably too dark and the gritty storytelling is something Disney will stray away from, nevermind the fact that those were some of the best (Shadows of the Empire, much?) Another problem for the Star Wars Universe in terms of mainstream publicity on the big screen and television is forward progression. Over the last decade, the focus seems to be alliterating what has happened in the past and attempts to fill in those holes only ruined continuity and fails to foreshadow the events taken place in movies 4 through 6.That being said, regardless of the quality, The prequels and the Clone Wars cartoon were market-wise a success. There has been very little focus on how these tales have advanced in the books if you are a casual fan and haven’t read them, which is a shame because most I’ve read are entertaining. I think A Kyp Durron story would be great, if in the hands of a competent team of writers. And then there’s casting. You would have to find people who can bring the best out of these personalities, and I fear that since most of these characters haven’t garnered the legacy of the New Hope/Empire/Return films, they would aim low-brow and cast a bunch of dreamboats and pretty people who have name recognition while having easter eggs and cameos scattered throughout.
    A very well thoughtout post from someone who might have been holding in some angst towards these kinds of shell-brainded decisions.

  2. Tekizen says:

    Shadows of the Empire would have made an awesome film, but if they went back and made a movie off of Shadows then someone somewhere might get the bright idea to make a movie off of “Splinter of the Mind’s Eye” That book almost makes the works by Anderson look passable. A story about Kyp would be really cool, but again getting Disney to make it work RIGHT isn’t very likely. Despite my previously mentioned fears I’m leaning a little bit more all the time towards wanting a Rogue Squadron Movie. Sure there won’t be any Denis Lawson which would break my heart, but I could deal. Besides who knows maybe they’d just have Mr. Lawson play someone else this go round? That’d be kind of cool.

    • colonelfancy says:

      EEck, that bad? Stupid potential cash-in ideas. I wouldn’t mind seeing a Dennis Lawson cameo, and Rogue is probably the safest route, giving fans the decent amount of action and lovable characters.

  3. Tekizen says:

    Action, lovable, well known characters, it could definately work. The fact that each main character has potential for their own spin off movie helps too.

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